Director: Michael Lehmann
Starring: Mandy Moore & Diane Keaton
Grade: C-
I have been procrastinating on this review for weeks; every
time I open the page to start working my eyes glaze over and my mind goes numb.
I could blame this on writer’s block or generally laziness, but I think at
least some of the blame falls on the dreadfully dull Because I Said So. It’s not a secret gem like The Decoy Bride, it’s not so-bad-it’s-good like Kate & Leopold, and it’s not
offensively bad like Something Borrowed. It
just kind of…exists. The characters
are broad, the humor is forced, and there’s nothing particularly compelling
about the plot. Enough halfway decent scenes prevent the film from becoming a
total disaster, which means it falls into the middling range of mass-produced
rom coms that leave little-to-no impression. Clearly very little critical
thought went into making this film and it’s awfully hard to discuss it
critically. But, dear readers, making sense of the bland is my cross to bear so
let’s dive in, shall we?
Really the best thing I can say about this movie is that it’s not Love, Wedding, Marriage, the truly god-awful Mandy Moore vehicle I reviewed a few weeks ago. While Love, Wedding, Marriage seemed to have no understanding of the basic art of filmmaking, Because I Said So makes some attempts at consistent characterization and logical plotting. Like some other films I’ve reviewed (Sleepless in Seattle springs to mind), this film looks not just at romantic relationships, but at familial ones as well.
Successful caterer Milly (Moore) and her mom Daphne (a shrill Diane Keaton) have a weird kind of codependent relationship that the film both criticizes and idolizes. After being dumped by her loser boyfriend, Milly declares she’s going to stay single forever like her role-model-mother. Daphne, ever the meddler, decides she knows best and secretly sets up an online dating profile for her daughter in order to prescreen candidates for Milly to fall in love with. (This comes after a scene in which Keaton accidentally stumbles onto a porn site; Because I Said So seems to think that putting Diane Keaton in embarrassing situations is the same thing as comedy. This ain’t exactly Annie Hall.)
A largely underused Lauren Graham and a totally underused Piper Perabo play Milly’s older sisters. Graham is a psychologist in a stable marriage. Perabo is, I don’t know, I think she’s married and I think she’s supposed to be the “wild one,” but she only has about three lines which means she barely makes an impression. Graham’s profession is largely an excuse for exposition and she feeds the audience helpful lines explaining that Milly can’t settle down because she never really knew her father.
One of the central conceits of Because I Said is that three grown sisters and their mother spend a large portion of their lives hanging out and doing stereotypical-girl things (going to the spa, buying shoes, trying on clothes, making conference calls). Which means we’re treated to a scene in which Lauren Graham, Piper Perabo, and Mandy Moore stand around in lingerie and tease Diane Keaton for her granny-panties. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Back to that string of events Because I Said So calls a plot: After a truly offensive montage of all the ugly/crazy/weird guys that answer Daphne’s ad (because people don’t matter at all outside of their appearance and first impression), Daphne finally meets a diamond in the rough, a rich-architect-type (aren’t they always?) played by Tom Everett Scott. I know Scott as Guy Patterson from one of my all time favorite films That Thing You Do! I’m sure his character has a name in Because I Said So, but I’d prefer to refer to him as Shades. (For the uninitiated, Shades was Guy Patterson’s nickname. I realize I’m starting to descend into madness, but it’s the only way I can get through this review.) Shades seems like the perfect guy for Milly, but to add a hitch in the proceedings, Daphne also meets Random-Musician-Man (Gabriel Macht; his character’s real name is Johnny, but again, let me have my fun). Random-Musician-Man has watched Daphne go on various blind-dates all afternoon and decides he wants to be the one to court the daughter of a crazy person. (He explains, “I like you. I have an odd instinct I’d like her too.” Yeah, that makes sense.) Thus we have the central conflict of the movie: rich, boring architect vs. poor, soulful musician. Take a wild guess as to which one Milly is going to fall for. I have to admit, at this point the film pretty much lost me as there is no situation in which I’m not rooting for Shades to get the girl.
In an impressive show of restraint, it’s a full 25 minutes into the movie before Keaton utters the titular line (during an excursion to the mall where the girls again strip down to their underwear). Most of the film’s second act consists of Keaton dropping things, tripping, and otherwise embarrassing herself. One of the film’s most repeated jokes is that women carry a lot of stuff in their purses (talk about cutting edge!) Milly ends up dating both men simultaneously (unbeknownst to either of them). Keaton meddles some more. It turns out Random-Musician-Man is also a doting-single-dad (the ultimate sympathy trump card) which inadvertently gives the film a bit of a creepy undertone: Milly never knew her father and now she’s attracted to a man who is raising a child. Freud would have a field day!
Even as a person with a high tolerance for shitty rom coms, the middle portion of this film is nearly unwatchable. Instead of wish fulfillment romance, we get lots of flustered, anxious fights between an unlikable mother and daughter who are enabling each other’s neuroses. There’s a weird frantic energy to the whole thing. Moore in particular (whose work I’ve enjoyed elsewhere, I don’t think it’s her fault she keeps landing these horrible roles) is constantly wringing her hands and rushing her lines. The physical comedy continues to have a slightly desperate air as the gags grow more and more ridiculous. Keaton walks in holding a cake, it’s bound to be only a few moments before it gets thrust into her face. By the time she’s driving down the road, hitting her malfunctioning GPS with a shoe, I was about ready to quit.
Things thankfully pick up about two-thirds of the way through. Daphne gets laryngitis and decides to move-in with Milly to recuperate (because, that makes sense). Once Keaton is silenced, some of the franticness calms down and the film takes time to breath. Moore brings a certain flustered sweetness to a scene where she describes an orgasm to her mother (who's never had one) and keeps the whole thing from becoming cringe-worthy. Daphne falls for Random-Musician-Man’s father, played by Stephen Collins (aka Mr. Camden from 7th Heaven), and they have a first kiss that feels awkwardly-charming rather than unwatchably-awkward. Tony Hale (aka Buster Bluth from Arrested Development) has a cameo as one of Lauren Graham’s patients that nearly steals the movie; you can tell he and Lauren Graham probably had a lot of fun on set. He’s more funny in two minutes than Keaton is the entire movie.
To its credit Because I Said So takes a surprisingly serious approach to its central premise. I made quite a few notes as I watched this film about Milly’s manipulative behavior in dating two guys at once (that isn’t gendered, I’d say the same thing if it were a guy in her situation). Both relationships are pretty serious: she’s sleeping with both men, has been introduced to both of their families and one even hints at marriage. For such a frothy rom com, I had a lot of moral concerns about the main heroine. Thankfully the movie deals with those concerns head on, as Random-Musician-Man catches Milly with her other beau and essentially reads the above paragraph to her. There’s a hint of a decent movie in their fight scene, but it’s unfortunately not the movie we get to see.
But I’m all for celebrating the small victories and the movie at least takes a stab at showing some consequences to both the romantic relationships and the mother/daughter one. Milly dumps Shades (I’m honestly not sure why she continued to date him for so long when it was pretty clear she didn’t really like him. Sure it injects some drama into the film, but it also makes Milly seem remarkably selfish and unhealthy indecisive). To punish her for the meddling, Milly stops speaking to her mother, which gives Keaton’s character a chance to have a bit of an arc and sort of learn a lesson. There’s even a montage of people being unhappy for an extended period of time and not just immediately getting over their concerns.
If this praise seems lukewarm, that’s because it is. Any movie that relies consistently on reaction shots from a dog probably has issues that can’t be resolved with one or two decent scenes. Because I Said So ends with one of the absolute worst romantic reunions in any rom com (in a cooking-for-one class Milly teaches to senior citizens). Random-Musician-Man’s declarations of love feel super creepy and non-romantic. Then a lot of old people start kissing each other and any goodwill Because I Said So earned in its third act evaporates.
The whole dull venture ends at the wedding of Daphne and Mr. Camden (which means Milly and Random-Musician-Man are step-siblings. Weird). The girls sing, Keaton does some more desperate physical comedy, and then a cake flies off a cliff and lands on Tony Hale because fuck it. Honestly I don’t have much more to say. It’s bad, but it’s not atrocious. There are enough halfway decent scenes that I can’t write it off entirely, but then again it’s certainly not worth sitting through two hours of dreck for a few engaging minutes. So there you have it dear readers, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write this and hopefully the next rom com I watch will inspire a little more critical thought. In the meantime let’s just end this the way Because I Said so would want us to, by imagining an adorable dog tilting its head inquisitively. That’s enough to save this review, right?
Reality factor: Purses are messy! People on dating sites can be creepy! Old people will kiss other old people when given the chance! Thanks for the insights Because I Said So.
[1 out of 5]
Eye-candy factor: There are plenty of shots of girls in underwear and none of Shades in his skivvies. I’m all for equal opportunity eye-candy, but give me something here.
[2 out of 5]
Aww factor: Surprisingly Diane Keaton and Stephen Collins’ romance is the sweetest thing about this film. Too bad it’s only given about 10 minutes of screentime.
[2 out of 5]
Really the best thing I can say about this movie is that it’s not Love, Wedding, Marriage, the truly god-awful Mandy Moore vehicle I reviewed a few weeks ago. While Love, Wedding, Marriage seemed to have no understanding of the basic art of filmmaking, Because I Said So makes some attempts at consistent characterization and logical plotting. Like some other films I’ve reviewed (Sleepless in Seattle springs to mind), this film looks not just at romantic relationships, but at familial ones as well.
Successful caterer Milly (Moore) and her mom Daphne (a shrill Diane Keaton) have a weird kind of codependent relationship that the film both criticizes and idolizes. After being dumped by her loser boyfriend, Milly declares she’s going to stay single forever like her role-model-mother. Daphne, ever the meddler, decides she knows best and secretly sets up an online dating profile for her daughter in order to prescreen candidates for Milly to fall in love with. (This comes after a scene in which Keaton accidentally stumbles onto a porn site; Because I Said So seems to think that putting Diane Keaton in embarrassing situations is the same thing as comedy. This ain’t exactly Annie Hall.)
A largely underused Lauren Graham and a totally underused Piper Perabo play Milly’s older sisters. Graham is a psychologist in a stable marriage. Perabo is, I don’t know, I think she’s married and I think she’s supposed to be the “wild one,” but she only has about three lines which means she barely makes an impression. Graham’s profession is largely an excuse for exposition and she feeds the audience helpful lines explaining that Milly can’t settle down because she never really knew her father.
One of the central conceits of Because I Said is that three grown sisters and their mother spend a large portion of their lives hanging out and doing stereotypical-girl things (going to the spa, buying shoes, trying on clothes, making conference calls). Which means we’re treated to a scene in which Lauren Graham, Piper Perabo, and Mandy Moore stand around in lingerie and tease Diane Keaton for her granny-panties. Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Back to that string of events Because I Said So calls a plot: After a truly offensive montage of all the ugly/crazy/weird guys that answer Daphne’s ad (because people don’t matter at all outside of their appearance and first impression), Daphne finally meets a diamond in the rough, a rich-architect-type (aren’t they always?) played by Tom Everett Scott. I know Scott as Guy Patterson from one of my all time favorite films That Thing You Do! I’m sure his character has a name in Because I Said So, but I’d prefer to refer to him as Shades. (For the uninitiated, Shades was Guy Patterson’s nickname. I realize I’m starting to descend into madness, but it’s the only way I can get through this review.) Shades seems like the perfect guy for Milly, but to add a hitch in the proceedings, Daphne also meets Random-Musician-Man (Gabriel Macht; his character’s real name is Johnny, but again, let me have my fun). Random-Musician-Man has watched Daphne go on various blind-dates all afternoon and decides he wants to be the one to court the daughter of a crazy person. (He explains, “I like you. I have an odd instinct I’d like her too.” Yeah, that makes sense.) Thus we have the central conflict of the movie: rich, boring architect vs. poor, soulful musician. Take a wild guess as to which one Milly is going to fall for. I have to admit, at this point the film pretty much lost me as there is no situation in which I’m not rooting for Shades to get the girl.
In an impressive show of restraint, it’s a full 25 minutes into the movie before Keaton utters the titular line (during an excursion to the mall where the girls again strip down to their underwear). Most of the film’s second act consists of Keaton dropping things, tripping, and otherwise embarrassing herself. One of the film’s most repeated jokes is that women carry a lot of stuff in their purses (talk about cutting edge!) Milly ends up dating both men simultaneously (unbeknownst to either of them). Keaton meddles some more. It turns out Random-Musician-Man is also a doting-single-dad (the ultimate sympathy trump card) which inadvertently gives the film a bit of a creepy undertone: Milly never knew her father and now she’s attracted to a man who is raising a child. Freud would have a field day!
Even as a person with a high tolerance for shitty rom coms, the middle portion of this film is nearly unwatchable. Instead of wish fulfillment romance, we get lots of flustered, anxious fights between an unlikable mother and daughter who are enabling each other’s neuroses. There’s a weird frantic energy to the whole thing. Moore in particular (whose work I’ve enjoyed elsewhere, I don’t think it’s her fault she keeps landing these horrible roles) is constantly wringing her hands and rushing her lines. The physical comedy continues to have a slightly desperate air as the gags grow more and more ridiculous. Keaton walks in holding a cake, it’s bound to be only a few moments before it gets thrust into her face. By the time she’s driving down the road, hitting her malfunctioning GPS with a shoe, I was about ready to quit.
Things thankfully pick up about two-thirds of the way through. Daphne gets laryngitis and decides to move-in with Milly to recuperate (because, that makes sense). Once Keaton is silenced, some of the franticness calms down and the film takes time to breath. Moore brings a certain flustered sweetness to a scene where she describes an orgasm to her mother (who's never had one) and keeps the whole thing from becoming cringe-worthy. Daphne falls for Random-Musician-Man’s father, played by Stephen Collins (aka Mr. Camden from 7th Heaven), and they have a first kiss that feels awkwardly-charming rather than unwatchably-awkward. Tony Hale (aka Buster Bluth from Arrested Development) has a cameo as one of Lauren Graham’s patients that nearly steals the movie; you can tell he and Lauren Graham probably had a lot of fun on set. He’s more funny in two minutes than Keaton is the entire movie.
To its credit Because I Said So takes a surprisingly serious approach to its central premise. I made quite a few notes as I watched this film about Milly’s manipulative behavior in dating two guys at once (that isn’t gendered, I’d say the same thing if it were a guy in her situation). Both relationships are pretty serious: she’s sleeping with both men, has been introduced to both of their families and one even hints at marriage. For such a frothy rom com, I had a lot of moral concerns about the main heroine. Thankfully the movie deals with those concerns head on, as Random-Musician-Man catches Milly with her other beau and essentially reads the above paragraph to her. There’s a hint of a decent movie in their fight scene, but it’s unfortunately not the movie we get to see.
But I’m all for celebrating the small victories and the movie at least takes a stab at showing some consequences to both the romantic relationships and the mother/daughter one. Milly dumps Shades (I’m honestly not sure why she continued to date him for so long when it was pretty clear she didn’t really like him. Sure it injects some drama into the film, but it also makes Milly seem remarkably selfish and unhealthy indecisive). To punish her for the meddling, Milly stops speaking to her mother, which gives Keaton’s character a chance to have a bit of an arc and sort of learn a lesson. There’s even a montage of people being unhappy for an extended period of time and not just immediately getting over their concerns.
If this praise seems lukewarm, that’s because it is. Any movie that relies consistently on reaction shots from a dog probably has issues that can’t be resolved with one or two decent scenes. Because I Said So ends with one of the absolute worst romantic reunions in any rom com (in a cooking-for-one class Milly teaches to senior citizens). Random-Musician-Man’s declarations of love feel super creepy and non-romantic. Then a lot of old people start kissing each other and any goodwill Because I Said So earned in its third act evaporates.
The whole dull venture ends at the wedding of Daphne and Mr. Camden (which means Milly and Random-Musician-Man are step-siblings. Weird). The girls sing, Keaton does some more desperate physical comedy, and then a cake flies off a cliff and lands on Tony Hale because fuck it. Honestly I don’t have much more to say. It’s bad, but it’s not atrocious. There are enough halfway decent scenes that I can’t write it off entirely, but then again it’s certainly not worth sitting through two hours of dreck for a few engaging minutes. So there you have it dear readers, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to write this and hopefully the next rom com I watch will inspire a little more critical thought. In the meantime let’s just end this the way Because I Said so would want us to, by imagining an adorable dog tilting its head inquisitively. That’s enough to save this review, right?
Reality factor: Purses are messy! People on dating sites can be creepy! Old people will kiss other old people when given the chance! Thanks for the insights Because I Said So.
[1 out of 5]
Eye-candy factor: There are plenty of shots of girls in underwear and none of Shades in his skivvies. I’m all for equal opportunity eye-candy, but give me something here.
[2 out of 5]
Aww factor: Surprisingly Diane Keaton and Stephen Collins’ romance is the sweetest thing about this film. Too bad it’s only given about 10 minutes of screentime.
[2 out of 5]
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